


Hypothetical Future Children

by Lilbug121



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Pre D-Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-14
Updated: 2014-01-14
Packaged: 2018-01-08 18:49:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1136159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilbug121/pseuds/Lilbug121
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Paula and Stu muse about what they might name their kids, if they ever have any.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hypothetical Future Children

**Author's Note:**

> I've caught the Crackerpot, and progressed to the fic-writing stage. God help us all.
> 
> Edit: A beautiful person drew [fanart](http://themysteriousdisappearingstudio.tumblr.com/post/73500492530/babies-leon-and-lauren) based on this fic.

“What if we had a kid?”

“Well, I suppose first off my mum would be awful mad at me.”

“Not right now,” Paula corrected, flicking her boyfriend’s ear. “I just mean…someday, y’know? When we’re old. Like, 27 or something.”

“Oh.”

“What would you name a kid, if you had to name one right now?”

“Is it a boy or a girl?”

“…One of each, I guess. I know what I’d pick.”

“Well, I suppose I’d have to look at them to be sure but…I dunno. I’d probably get one of those baby-name books and pick something out that sounded ok.”

“I always liked the name Alexis; I’m not sure why. And Alex for a boy, I guess, 'cause I like when twins have matching names.”

“I don’t like Alexis. It sounds too…boyish? Like, people would call her Alex and then other people might think she was a boy, and I imagine that’d get awful annoying.”

“Well at least I said an actual name!”

“I can think of an actual name! Like...Romero!” Stu countered, blurting out the first name he could think of that didn’t belong to a living friend or family member.

“Be serious!” Paula giggled, tossing a piece of popcorn at her boyfriend.

“I am being serious!” Stu pouted indignantly.

“That’s not even a first name!”

“Well it could be!” Stu folded his arms with a huff, knowing he was wrong from the start.

“Ok, what about Midge. And if there was a boy it could be Mitch”

“That sounds like a pair of siblings from a 50’s comic book.”

“In a good way or a bad way?”

“…I’m not sure. Is there even a good way to sound like that?”

“No, I guess not” she laughed.

“Edgar? I think I saw that in a book once.” Stu shrugged. He had mostly said the name just for the sake of putting something on the table.

“That’s such an old-fashioned name. And, you know, I wouldn’t take your last name if we got married; imagine being a kid named Edgar Cracker-Pot. Never name your kid something that’ll rhyme with their other names.”

Stu sighed. “Naming a kid is so much responsibility; like, if you pick a rubbish name then that’s it. They’ve got a rubbish name forever, and it’s all your fault. I don’t think I could handle doing that.”

“Well that’s why you have to think about these things in advance, I suppose.” Paula mused.

“What about like when there are celebrity couples and they combine their names? Which sounds better, Puart or Staula?” He could barely get it out through his laughter at just how poorly their names meshed.

“Those are both rubbish!”

“Staula isn’t that bad; it isn’t good, but it’s not horrifying.”

“Yeah, but Puart?”

“Oh god, that would be the worst!”

“Maybe not the absolute worst, though. Both our last names are actual words, I’m sure there are a few terrible combinations out there.”

“Ok, ok, what about…what name is Bob short for?”

“Robert.”

“Seriously?” he raised his eyebrows questioningly. Paula nodded. “Why? What sense does that make?”

Paula shrugged in half-hearted agreement; it was pretty weird now that he pointed it out, but she had never thought it to be a big deal before. “Well, we won’t name our hypothetical future child Robert then, since it apparently makes no sense.”

“It doesn’t!”

“I know it doesn’t Stu. I’m agreeing with you.”

“Well…good, I guess.”

Paula giggled at how huffy Stu had gotten, snuggling closer to him now that he wasn't moving around so much.

“What about…Lauren and Leon? They match, but the girl name can’t be shortened into a boy name. And they don’t sound immensely stupid paired with our last names, which is somewhat of a miracle.”

Stu giggled a bit at that last (unfortunately true) statement. “Lauren Cracker-Pot and Leon Cracker-Pot. Yeah, that sounds good. But what if it’s more than two?”

“It won’t be more than two.”

“How do you know, it hasn’t even happened yet?”

“Trust me; through sheer will-power alone, I will _not_ let it be more than two.”


End file.
